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It’s my belief, my opinion that human beings were meant to connect, to pair bond, to relate, essentially to love. I believe that is our purpose on this earth as manifestations of the Divine. Somewhere along the line, in our race to get stuff and climb the corporate ladder, with our need to drown out the voices in our heads that tell us we aren’t good enough, in our attempts to protect ourselves from being hurt, and our nonchalance when we hurt someone else, we forgot how to love as a culture and a society. We’ve forgotten what it means to love and to be loved. Many of us never knew what it meant. So many of us want to be loved but we don’t want to sacrifice, we don’t want give of ourselves, or do the emotional work to love someone.
Thank you for this. I am so amazed at how you just spoke to me regarding my relationship with my husband and the things that I have been working on.
I am one of the few who have been part of a family whose parents have been married for 52 years. While some find this amazing, to me this was the norm. They had ups and downs, but through it all, I don’t think my dad or mom would have had it any other way. My mom informed all eight of us that when you love you love with your heart. You take the good with the bad and as you stated you find the value in that person that you can’t live without and treat him/her more than a sexual partner but as your soul mate.
Loving my husband as I do, I am learning to do the things that you have talked about in this podcast. I am realizing that I can’t love someone until I love myself and that is the first and most important step. So I began to work on me which will allow me to to love him not just in the physical but also with my spiritual and emotional.
On the spiritual note, many people get the submissive part confused. I am a Christian and believe in GOD and what the WORD of GOD says. Yes, he (my husband) is the head of our house, however, we are partners in this relationship. We are working together to achieve a common goal. My husband has never ever treated me as a servant and vice versa. In fact, I find pleasure in serving him as my husband and king. There is no domination (except for in the bedroom but I digress), but a respect that wants to succeed and move up to levels that are in the stratosphere.
So how do I love you ask? I love with my whole heart.
I define love as a choice. Love is without conditions. Love. Comes from one person choosing to cherish a person and scarifice for a person despite their flaws despite what they do. Love is and choice not and emotion that results in action. Love is choice that provide actions that sometimes tie to emotion. A person does not have to feel anything for a person to show love. Simply because love is a choice. Now that is the basis of love. Many times people do not know or understand this. They think that love comes from intimacy. Especially black women. We think opening our legs for someone shows them love. That has very little to do with love and everything to do with emotion and sexual gratification. Divorces run rampid in the Black community because in times where one partner may fall short on love the other reacts negetivly. Instead of continuing to love their significant other by choice and not by action. The basis of choice falls through because ppm start to see the fruit of the love as the love instead of knowing that sometimes the fruit goes bears but if the roots is strong and healthy it will produce fruit again. I think we as a community have been stripped of the ideology of who we are and whet we were because love is something that comes natural. We have been contaminated with ideas of money things lust sex and other corruptions. We have forgotten one of the first and basic principals of life…. which is Love….. and it will always be a choice. . have been stripped of the ideology of who we are and whet we were because love is something that comes natural. We have been contaminated with ideas of money things lust sex and other corruptions. We have forgotten one of the first and basic principals of life…. which is Love….. and it will always be a choice.
Thank you.. your thoughts were shared with my many groups. I am a first time listener.
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